Jon Stewart Reveals New Trump Executive Orders on “The Late Show with Steven Colbert”

Michele Crowe/CBS(NEW YORK) —  If Jon Stewart has been itching for an opportunity to comment on the Donald Trump presidency since leaving The Daily Show, he got his chance last night when Stephen Colbert welcomed his old friend and mentor to The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

Stewart walked out for the first post-monologue segment wearing an outrageously long red tie — at least six feet long — and a stuffed ferret strapped to the top of his head.  His explanation: now that Trump was president, the height of fashion was to wear a “super long tie” and a “dead animal on [your] head.”

Colbert then launched into a freewheeling bit with Colbert in which Stewart, playing Trump, read three brand-new executive orders.  The first: he would import China’s great wall and erect it between the U.S. border and Mexico, and force Mexico to pay for it by having it delivered to them C.O.D.

Order two: “The new official language of the United States is bull****.”

Executive order three was more of an observation: “I, Donald J. Trump, do declare by executive order that I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting.”

Noting that it’s been only “eleven f***ing days” since Trump was sworn in, Stewart observed, “The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public.”

Stewart’s final observation?  “We have never faced this before,” he began.  “Purposeful, vindictive chaos.”  However, Stewart continued, if America worked hard to make it through Trump’s presidency “calamity-less and constitutionally partially intact,” then Trump “will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way [he] thought he was gonna.”

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